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Building Self-Awareness
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An upstream way to promote your child's well-being

by Communities for Youth

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Did you know that self-awareness is a powerful protective factor for teen mental health? Local youth survey data from Communities for Youth shows that teens who better understand their thoughts, feelings, and values are less likely to report depressive symptoms — and more able to handle stress.

 

The good news? Self-awareness can build with support from parents and trusted adults.

 

Simple ways adults can help:

 

  • Link feelings to values: Help teens name what they’re feeling and why it matters.

       SAY: "You seem really frustrated about the group project. Is it because          fairness matters to you?”

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  • Normalize struggle: Hard feelings are part of growing up so try to just listen, not fix.

    SAY: “You don’t have to have it figured out. I’m here — do you want to vent or problem-solve?”

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  • Model self-compassion: Encourage teens to talk to themselves the way they would to a good friend.

    SAY: “What would you say to a friend in this situation?”

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  • Support purpose and interests: Help teens explore what sparks curiosity and meaning.

    SAY: “I notice you light up when you talk about that — tell me more.”

     

These small moments will build resilience, connection, and confidence over time.

 

🔗 Read the full tip sheet on building teen self-awareness.
🔗 Explore other protective factors from Communities for Youth.

📣 Share this with another parent or trusted adult who cares about teens.

Pause. Ask. Listen.
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The Most Powerful Way to Support Your Teen

Starts with Connection

by Communities for Youth

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“Collect them before you direct them.” - Gordon Neufeld

 

Connecting with teens can be tricky. As youth seek more independence, relationships that may have felt close can sometimes seem more distant. BUT .... tweens and teens still need guidance and support in aligning their hopes, dreams, and values with their life choices - and how that guidance is offered makes all the difference.

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Connection is the strategy. Curiosity is the tool. Pausing is where it starts.

 

  • Start with your teen’s perspective.

  • Lead with curiosity, not direction.

  • Help them feel valued, noticed, important.

 

Try one of these conversation starters:

 

  • “What’s been the hardest part of your week?”

  • “What’s something you wish adults understood better about kids your age?”

  • “When do you feel the most stressed at school?”

  • “Who or what makes you feel most supported right now?”

  • “What’s one thing you’re really proud of yourself for lately?”

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Our favorite decks to get them talking:

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MORE RESOURCES

 

4 Connection-First Parenting Tips
You Can Use Today
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Greg Burnham, MSW, LCSW, facilitated a recent Resilient Parent Support Group. During that group (open to all, check out upcoming dates & themes!), Greg offered the following practical strategies any parent can use right now:
 

  1. Reframe “attention-seeking.”
    When your child seems like they’re “attention-seeking,” try viewing it as “attachment-seeking" instead. This subtle shift helps you soften and offer the connection they’re really craving.
     

  2. Practice “doing nothing – on purpose.”
    Sometimes the most effective parenting move is to intentionally do nothing and notice whether things actually fall apart – or not. 
     

  3. Practice “the pause.”
    Before you automatically respond to your kid, take a moment to pause. This can help you tap into your inner wisdom and respond more consciously. It can also show kids that the power of the pause lies in giving us a moment to reflect on how things are going, which can be helpful in so many different contexts. 
     

  4. Avoid overprocessing.
    Talking too much about feelings can burn kids out, especially younger ones. Keep it simple with supportive statements like, “I love you,” “I know this is hard,” or “I’m here if you need me.”

Trust Your Instincts
When It Comes to Mental Health
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​​When You Wonder If You Should Ask About Suicide...

You Probably Should

 

As parents, we often second-guess ourselves, especially when it comes to sensitive conversations with our children. But mental health advocate Drew Petersen offers this crucial advice: “If the thought crosses your mind that you should ask somebody if they're thinking of suicide, that’s probably a sign that you should ask."

 

”It might feel awkward or scary, but asking directly about suicide doesn’t plant the idea – it opens the door for your child to share what they’re already thinking. And you don’t have to know exactly what to say. What matters most is showing up, showing your child they’re not alone and remembering that your willingness to have these conversations could be life-saving.
 

How to start the conversation:
 

  • Choose a quiet, private moment.

  • Begin gently: I’ve noticed you’ve seemed sad/worried. Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself?

  • Then, if needed, ask directly: Are you thinking about suicide?

  • Listen without judgment.

  • Take any response seriously.

  • Seek professional help and/or call/text 988, a free, mental health support & suicide crisis hotline.

  • Create a personal safety plan.
     

Read more about How to Ask Someone If They Are Thinking About Suicide (by The JED Foundation)
Read more about How Suicide Messaging is Broken and How to Fix It (written by local Boise, ID parent)​​

Did you know?

Teens’ connections to their families are a BIG contributor

to their mental health and well-being

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But ... how do you create that connection?

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Through simple acts of giving them the gift of your attention.
 

Tip # 1: Find ways to laugh together

  • Listen to comedy while driving or find funny videos to watch after dinner

  • Ask your teen to share a favorite fun song or play DJ on a longer drive

 

Tip # 2: Listen and validate instead of problem solving

  • Tell them, "That sounds hard," without trying to fix the situation

  • Ask them they're interested in advice - before you offer it

 

Tip # 3: Leave them a note

  • Put a note in their room highlighting something you love about them

  • Put a note in their backpack with a quote or lyric you love


Learn more:

Buddy Up for Screen-Free Day

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Knowing a lot of screen time isn't great for our kids (or us!) is one thing. Actually unplugging for a full day? That’s ... a whole different challenge.


Solution: Partner with another parent or family and plan a screen-free day of fun.

 

Why It Works:

  • You’re likely to follow through when another family is holding you accountable

  • Kids get playmates + adults get social connection

  • A little friendly peer pressure helps everyone stay motivated

     

How to Set It Up:

  • Pick a parent/family with similar-aged kids

  • Choose one day (like Saturday or Sunday) to go ALL IN

  • Plan ahead with fun, low-key, screen-free activities:

    • Nature walks, biking, or park play

    • Potluck meals, baking, or board games

    • Building forts, doing crafts, or backyard obstacle courses

     

Expand Gradually:

  • Make it a monthly or biweekly tradition (and share what worked or didn't after)

  • Try screen-free meals or bedtime routines during the week

  • Let kids help plan future screen-free days

     

👉 Remember: Your buddy family is there to support, not judge!
It’s never about doing it perfectly — it’s about making it ... possible.

 

Learn more:

How to Rock Summer with Teens

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1. Manage expectations.

Try writing out tomorrow's plans on Post-it notes the night before.

This helps your teen (and you!) know what to expect.

Also remember - less family hangout time is normal as they grow.

Don't take it personally!

 

2. Involve teens in summer planning.

Giving teens a voice in summer plans helps them feel respected and reduces power struggles.

Let them choose their level of participation, and encourage the whole family to use statements like: "It's really important to me that..." to communicate in a way that makes everyone feel heard.


3. Make it fun.

Use a calendar or make a bucket list to plan a popcorn bar + movie night, a weekly pool date with friends, or a pizza + game night.
 

Source: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms Podcast, episode 235 with Jamie Cook

 

Learn more:

Homework Gets a Breath of Fresh Air!

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Looking for an easy mental health win?
Have your child do their homework or read ... OUTSIDE!


Why?


Fresh air and sunlight:

 

  • Enhance focus

  • Improve eye health and eye strain

  • Boost vitamin D levels (most kids and adults need more Vitamin D)

  • Make study or reading time more relaxing and enjoyable!
     

3 tips to help get your child's buy-in:

 

1. Make it social by inviting a study or reading buddy

 

2. Talk about making healthy choices and "trading screen time for green time" to boost focus and brighten your mood and mind.

 

3. Create a special outdoor study spot with comfy pillows, a portable desk, or blanket that becomes their dedicated learning zone.

 

Learn more:

3 Essential Tips for Families with Athletes

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1. Make It Fun First

Sports are meant to be played, not worked.

Encourage multiple activities to reduce pressure, prevent injuries, and build a broader identity.

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2. Listen More Than You Speak

Kid's biggest complaint? Parents talk too much.

Create space for your athlete to express themselves by asking open questions and truly hearing their answers.

 

3. Value Growth Over Glory

Be patient with development — late bloomers often thrive in the long run. Help your child understand that their worth never depends on athletic performance.

 

Learn more:

Building Resilient Kids

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Rather than trying to problem solve for your child, try simply validating their feelings.

 

Try saying, "I can see this is hard,"

 

and then adding...

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"And I'm confident in your ability to handle it. What ideas do you have?"

 

This approach acknowledges their emotions while expressing faith in their capabilities, helping them develop resilience by learning to navigate challenges independently.

Living Life Out Loud

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by Emily Cherkin, the Screentime Consultant

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Living Life Out Loud is a simple family technique where you narrate your technology use out loud.

 

Start with basic actions: "I'm checking the weather on my phone."

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Then add emotions: "I'm feeling bored so I'm reaching for my phone."

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It helps because:

  • When you speak your actions, you become more aware of your tech habits

  • It shows kids that phones are tools for specific purposes

  • The small pause before using tech helps build better habits

  • It's a tech-free way to improve family tech habits through open communication

     

The Secret Sauce to Less Screen Time

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Replace it with fun and engaging activities

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Unleash a puzzle adventure in your shared space!

 

Choose a surface you won't need anytime soon,

Start a part of the puzzle

Then see what happens.

 

No schedules, no pressure.

Just an open invitation for family and friends to connect piece by piece.

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Watch as curiosity replaces scrolling, one unexpected moment at a time.​

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The Golden Hour

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Days are busy, and full of stressors and joys that we all bring home.

 

To ease the work/school-to-home transition...

 

Stash phones out of sight for the first hour after you arrive home.

 

This encourages face-to-face interaction without the distraction of phones and allows your family to reconnect.

 

If you need to use your phone, step away to take care of your business, and then rejoin and enjoy the device-free time of decompression and connection.

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