Meet Kate Henwood: A Mom Who Helped Start a Phone-Free Revolution at Her Child’s School

Kate Henwood is a Longfellow Elementary parent with a rising fourth grader. She's also a You.Me.We.All volunteer who believes in the power of community action – and the kind of mom who "gets things done" and "isn't afraid to start difficult conversations."

And yet ... until recently, organizing around delaying the use of smartphones "was not even on my radar," she admits.

That changed when Kate attended a talk by Katey McPherson, a former school counselor and internet safety expert, at Riverside Elementary. She was especially shocked by hearing that more than half of kids have said they first saw pornography between the ages of 11 and 13. Kate’s curiosity and concern about the impact of giving kids smartphones too soon turned into a living room gathering of 10 parents – and then a successful Wait Until 8th table at Longfellow's annual Monster Mash event in October. Wait Until 8th is a tool that empowers parents to band together to agree to delay giving their kids smartphones until at least the end of 8th grade. 

By banding together with other families, your child won't be the only one in their grade without a smartphone. And you won’t be the only parent trying to hold a difficult line. 

Now, Kate is on a mission to inspire other parents to host their own Wait Until 8th tables at their child's upcoming school events – and inspire more crucial conversations and connections. 

You.Me.We.All recently sat down with Kate to ask her about the common questions she gets from other parents and how she helped get more parents to take the Wait Until 8th pledge.

You.Me.We.All Interviews Kate Henwood, mom of a rising 4th grader and advocate for Wait Until 8th

Q: How does Wait Until 8th work?

You get 10 families in your child’s grade to sign the pledge, which takes about 5 minutes. Once you have 10 families, you become an active group, and boom – you’ve got an instant community of like-minded parents. And anytime a new family joins after you reach a cohort of 10 families, Wait Until 8th sends everyone in the group an email – to help keep everyone connected. Instead of giving their kids a smartphone, families who make the pledge can consciously choose alternatives to smartphones like: 

• Safe phones including Gabb, PinWheel, Troomi, Light phone, and Wisephone (comparison chart). 

• Flip phones or “dumbphones,” like we had in the 90s and have made a comeback! 

• An inexpensive wifi-based home landline like Ooma.

  
  

The goal? 

Get kids talking instead of just texting and help build their communication skills! And spare kids from potentially harmful exposure to content online and on social media that’s been proven – over and over again – to negatively impact their mental health and wellbeing.

Q: Wait Until 8th recommends waiting until the end of 8th grade, which is often when a kid is 14. But we’ve heard experts say you should wait until 16. Which is better? 

Great question! Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, does recommend waiting until 16 or later to give a kid a smartphone that includes social media – and so does former Surgeon General, Vivak Murthy. 

We’re also fans of waiting until at least 16 to give a kid access to social media — but we love the power of Wait Until 8th because it provides an easy way to connect families in individual school communities. Wait Until 8th has caught fire across the country and now includes more than 100,000 families! If you want to know if your school has any active chapters, check on the Wait Until 8th website. And if they don’t, you can become a local chapter leader and start one, just like I did!   

Q: What inspired you to host a Wait Until 8th table at your school event?

I mentioned to a mom friend that I’d seen Katey McPherson speak at the Riverside event, and she said: “Tell me everything." 

We told a couple other moms that we were getting together to talk about why there are so many reasons to delay giving a kid a smartphone, and next thing I know I’m hosting a living room full of 10 moms – all parents of my son's friends.

That's the whole idea. You start with your kid's peer group and create an environment where everyone is on the same page. But after we all signed the Wait Until 8th pledge, we thought: the more people we can get on board, the better! This isn’t just something for our kids’ friends, it’s for everyone. 

Q: How did you organize the actual table at Monster Mash?

After the principal gave us the green light to have a table, we all pitched in and bought a banner from the Wait Until 8th store along with a few rolls of stickers. 

But I think we had one simple secret ingredient that made the Wait Until 8th table a total success: cookies! We told the kids who came up to us interested in the treats, "Hey, if you bring your parents over, you can have a cookie!"

And so it became the kids who got their parents to come over and start conversations with us. They were our advocates. So many kids were dragging their parents over saying "I want you to come talk to these ladies!" Cookies worked super well for us. But you could also use stickers, small prizes, or any other kid-friendly incentive to entice kids to bring their parents on over. 

Want to borrow the Wait Until 8th banner Kate bought? Contact her at kate.vanravenhorst@gmail.com.

Q: What if you’ve already given your child a smartphone? Can you still be part of Wait Until 8th? 

Wait Until 8th is very inclusive. It actually welcomes any family who is interested in making their child’s phone experience any amount safer. 

So, if you’ve already given your child a smartphone or smartwatch, no worries! One example of a way to make a kid’s smartphone safer would be to remove social media apps but still retain their sports apps, so kids remain in the loop for activities and practices. 

Q: Who else helped make your Wait Until 8th table successful?

Our principal! He actually stood at our table for quite some time and had pretty robust conversations with parents about what he’s seen and heard. 

Our principal’s presence at our table added another layer of showing support for getting this message out. And that was awesome. And before the event, our PTA helped us spread the word on social media.

Learn more about how principals can champion the Wait Until 8th pledge. 

Q: What kind of responses did you get from other parents?

The response was overwhelmingly positive. Everyone had a story to share. We had lots of parents who are educators or school counselors themselves. And we had curious parents of elementary school kids – and some parents of teenage children too.

I distinctly remember one family saying, “Our biggest parenting regret is giving our young teen a smartphone.”

There were only two parents who had concerns about their child not being able to contact them in case of an active shooter situation. But we were prepared to counter that argument with the facts, including that law enforcement and schools actually recommend that students NOT use devices during on-campus emergencies, as it can put them at higher risk by:

• Creating noise

• Revealing locations

• Jamming communication networks that first responders need

• Distracting kids from following critical directions

  
  

Q: Did you see any changes in your school community after the event?

Definitely. It was all about creating more awareness, where there wasn’t a ton before. And we need to create this awareness sooner as younger and younger kids are getting phones earlier. And even with increased awareness, people need reminders. I certainly know I do! 

We have to keep beating the drum on this because it's one thing to pledge, but another to keep your commitment going. So we need to keep getting the message out there and help motivate and support people to do what’s best for our kids, even when it’s not easy. 

Fortunately, Wait Until 8th has created a lot of awesome materials that you can share with others and help educate yourself too. 

You.Me.We.All’s website includes these resources, plus Spanish-language versions of Wait Until 8th materials, created with the assistance of the Whittier Elementary School Community (including Melissa Martin and Rosa Urrutia).

Q: What's your hope for Wait Until 8th at Longfellow and beyond?

Well, there’s a few things I’d love to see. 

1. I’d love to become a phone-free school community and model for other schools. 

2. I’d love to see our kids also on board with this plan, with a great network of friends where they don't feel like they're the only ones without a smartphone – and where they themselves feel content and connected without phones. 

3. I’d love to see other parents host Wait Until 8th tables at their own school events because the appetite is there, and banding together makes living in the digital age a lot less lonely. 

   
   

I tell people that every school needs parents who are willing to start these conversations because families in their community are waiting for someone to take the first step. So why couldn’t that person be you?

---

Ready to host a Wait Until 8th table at your school this fall?

Email youmeweallboise@gmail.com for resources, materials, or just some good, ole-fashioned moral support. We are … IN.THIS.TOGETHER.