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Parenting tips from Greg Burnham, Child & Family Therapist: Helping kids get outside and engage in free play

Greg Burnham grew up jumping off hay bales in Jerome, Idaho – enjoying plenty of outdoor free play that, looking back, “was definitely not always safe.”

After more than two decades as a licensed counselor and clinical director working with kids and families in many different settings, Greg knows his “free-range,” low-tech childhood isn’t the norm for many kids today. Yet even in his busy, more urban life, getting outside, especially for a long run, remains a deep source of joy. And he’s passionate about helping others find their own ways to enjoy being outdoors.


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“It’s a no-brainer that time outside and free play are powerful. But not every kid naturally loves the outdoors. You’ve got to be creative with the type, timing, and ‘dosage’ of outdoor time. What works depends on the individual child.”

You.Me.We.All interviews Greg Burnham, clinical director of Gemba Boise, parent of 4, and outdoor enthusiast


Q: Tell us a little bit about yourself. 

I’ve spent my career working with adolescents, young adults, and families – as a therapist and clinical director in residential treatment, community mental health, and wilderness therapy. I love helping young people navigate complex emotions in effective ways. I also speak at conferences about neurodiversity, parenting, skill development, and the treatment process.

As a father of four (now adults), I also know the universal feeling of looking back and thinking, I could’ve done things differently. For example, we were an avid “hiking family,” and we basically required everyone to go on long hikes together. It turned out one daughter didn’t enjoy hiking because she had an undiagnosed connective tissue disorder that made it physically painful.


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We laugh about it now, but if I could do it again, I’d approach things differently. That’s part of why I’m a big believer in never forcing kids outside, but instead finding what feels fun and doable for each child and their temperament, preferences, and abilities.

Sometimes the best approach is giving a few options. For example, one kid could stay and fish at the lake, another could explore further, and another could sit and read. You don’t need to give your kids dozens of choices, but having some flexibility makes a big difference.

Q: Why is it important for kids to get outside? 

Time outside is restorative – for kids and adults. It helps clear the mind, regulate the nervous system and our emotions. 

I think of time outdoors like nutrition: you can’t isolate the exact ingredient or number of minutes that will “make you healthy,” but we know whole foods are good for us. Similarly, the research consistently shows that spending some time outdoors every day benefits our well-being.

Q: How can parents help get kids outside more?

First, make it fun, not a punishment. If your child tends to stay inside, start by talking together about goals or routines you want to try. Explain why outdoor time matters, and involve them so it doesn’t feel imposed. Also consider whether you have a high-energy child or a low-energy child – because the strategy will differ.

A few examples:

  • For two high-energy kids: Maybe they take two 15-minute outdoor breaks each day where they run around the house five times and then wrestle.

  • For a lower-energy child: Maybe you sit on the porch together for 15 minutes after lunch on weekends.

Kids are more likely to stick to new habits when you do them together. Just like kids won’t eat whole foods if you never do, they won’t develop a relationship with the outdoors if they never see you outside – or hear what it does for you.



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Stay curious. Experiment. Check in and tweak your goals or your plan as you go.


Q: What other creative hacks do you recommend?

  • For a child who loves video games, try moving the console or TV outside. For a reader, create a cozy outdoor nook – or build a simple platform in a tree (no full treehouse required).

  • When colder weather hits, consider a propane heater so your family can still spend time outdoors – maybe even commit to one outdoor meal a week. For snow days, a tube with a rope attached can keep kids busy for hours.

  • You can also have your child look up “fun ways to get outside” on YouTube and bring you five ideas they like. Giving them ownership increases buy-in.

  • You can also add a social element too like inviting another family to gather around a fire in winter or explore a new trail. Being outdoors with friends reduces resistance and boosts joy.

Q: What about cultivating “free play”?

My number one free-play recommendation is to have kids build a fort. 


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Almost universally, kids love building things. Indoors, all you need are blankets, sheets, and pillows. Yes, your living room will be a mess for hours – but try to manage your own discomfort and focus on the benefits. If you step back and let it unfold, kids will invent games, rebuild the fort repeatedly, bury each other in pillows, and burst out laughing.

I also think every family should have a costume box, which you can stock quickly with a trip to a thrift store.

For outdoor forts, save cardboard and add other safe materials like milk crates. Pool noodles are also fantastic because they’re endlessly versatile. And a box of soft projectiles you keep outside full of balls and Nerf gear is always a hit.


Q: What if free play or more independence is leading to problems?

If more freedom is creating issues, try framing conversations around risk versus reward rather than “good versus bad.” That reduces shame and keeps the focus on problem-solving.

Say your child was free playing… with a lighter, for example.

  • A parent might say:“You almost lit the house on fire. I’m not sure I can trust you home alone again.”

  • But using risk-versus-reward might sound like:“I can see you were having fun… and you almost lit the house on fire. I think we need to problem-solve this together.”

When you elicit their own ideas, kids often come up with great solutions – and it can actually make the hard job of parenting easier.


Q: How can parents support “free play” beyond their home, if they’re interested?

Start by getting comfortable with free play at home first. Practice stepping back, resisting the urge to solve everything, and letting your child take the lead. As you build trust (in them and in yourself), you can expand – maybe your child bikes to a nearby park on their own when they’re ready.

Also, avoid immediately poking holes in your child’s ideas. If your 11-year-old wants to bike five miles to the ice cream shop but you’re short on time, you could say: “I LOVE that idea. I have work today but let’s find a time to do it – how about next Saturday?”

Or you might pause, breathe, and say: “Wow, what an AWESOME idea. I have more work today … but do you want to just do that on your own?”

And your kid’s face might light up as they think, “REALLY? I could do that on my own?”


Q: How else can we cultivate independence and strengthen our parenting skills?

Challenge yourself to try to get genuinely, 100% excited – every single time your child has an idea. 

Try responses like:

  • “Oh, I never thought about that – tell me more.”

  • “Wow, what a cool idea. Let me think about it.”

That phrase – “Let me think about it” – creates a pause. And the pause is powerful. It gives you a moment to gather your thoughts, access your wisdom, and respond rather than react. 

So many parents I’ve worked with who try “the pause” are surprised by how much their responses change when they do it – or even how it helps reduce their kids’ anxiety. It’s one of my favorite parenting tools because it can open up new ways of communicating. 


Some of Greg’s favorite parenting books and websites: 


Want more tips, validation and support for YOUR parenthood journey? Come to one of our upcoming parent support groups!



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